It's hot again!

We had such cool weather up till now.  I was beginning to think we would not have a summer here.  It has been so nice.  Today has been very hot.  I took a ten minute walk around the neighborhood.  Whew these hills are killers.  It really gives you a good work out.  I didn't want to leave the Mother-in-Law alone to long outside.  She seemed happy enough. 

I am way out of shape so for the next week just once around the neighborhood then I will start on two times.  I lost 2.5 pounds this past week.  Now if I can just keep it up.

I have been doing some painting today.  But I constantly get interrupted by the dog, Mother-in-law, and my Husband.  It is hard to zone out when people are constantly bothering you.  Even now it is about time to start supper.  Always something needs to be done.  

I plan to do more this is just the start.  Also below a journal page I did the other day.  

Life has been a maze lately and it seems to have all been up hill.  

At least I got to enjoy the day for a bit and sit outside with my Mother-in-Law while the hubby works on the bathroom for the theatre downstairs.  I really need to find a job soon.  

Oh and I know it is hard to see but in the picture below is a baby bird in my potted plant on the front porch.  

May Day

Another day on the porch. At lease it is nice around 72 degrees. Nice the yard needs mowing really big time. All my plants look happy. Three days of rain. Glad to have some sunshine.

I brought my flute out of hibernation and practiced yesterday. I also downloaded a Jethro Tull song book. I need to practice. Whew way out of wack. It has been years since I have really played. I am starting to practice so that I can join the local concert band in the near future. though I think they probably will not be playing Jethro Tull. So I sit here for now and type whilst listening to some of Jethro Tull. It helps when I go to play it to have immersed in it. I can sight read but I play better listening to it.

The hubby just changed oil in his brother's car. I won't go there. Let's just say my husband is very intelligent and also mechanically inclined.

Chico sits in the chair beside me watching and barking when he thinks something isn't right. A dogs life.

After the Mom-in-law and brother-in-law leave I will go in and work on painting. That is unless hubby wants to go out or something. It is a beautiful day. A perfect May Day!

My Writing

My writing I must say leaves a bit to be desired. I am laughing as I write this. It comes out in fragments. I have so much on my mind trying to put it in sequence at times is a struggle.
So I have set forth for myself a goal of learning to write. Or at least taking the time to compile my thoughts and set them forth in some semblance of the english language.
I think to myself this could be fun. Truly learning to write. That just may surprise many people that know me.
So I think I am going to start with an essay of something. I don't know what at this point. Maybe different forms of art, or Chaos Magick, or Kabbalah. Some of my many interests which change on a constant basis. I will say that art is a big part of my life. I just don't have the privacy I desire to create it like I would like.
Privacy in my world at times. Usually those times that I want to work is hard to come by. My art work area is in what we call our Florida room which is open to our den and kitchen and where traffic from the outside world enters as well. My Mother-in-law is always in the den with the TV full blast as she can't hear that well. I try to put my headset on with music or a book to block it out but just hearing her often puts me off and out of the mood to do anything. I am really tired of the caregiving ball and chain.
Currently I sit out side writing this on the front porch with a big steaming cup of coffee. It is chilly at about 54 degrees and overcast but peaceful. My neighbors next door sit out a good bit as well but I can't see them from here. It is rainy today and their dogs don't even want to go out. Today is my Tuesday off. It is still hard to get away. Living with family has its ups and downs that is for sure.
See I was going somewhere with this and got totally sidetracked and can't remember. OK my point has been made. I am going to work on my writing and post it here to my blog to see how I do. What is interesting is I just learned that this program does not scroll so I can keep writing and see my work. I may have to find another app. Time to start looking I guess.

Some Lights shine brighter then other lights.

Some people shine brighter then other people.

When there is no light and all is dark, What do you do? How do you move forward with your life?

How do you light the way?

How do you make sense of the world when the world

has gone crazy? Have the Gods decided to send their wrath upon an unbelieving, unsuspecting world?

Have they just turned away to let us destroy ourselves? Maybe a chance we will survive and live to breathe another day? Maybe they never existed in the first place.

Maybe we are just a freak of nature.

I'd like to think there was more to it then that. Honestly my belief changes daily with different information. Maybe that is how it is supposed to be a flowing ebbing desire of what you want it to be.

That seems to suit me best and leaves me happy and content. Yes I have tried many paths and they all lead me back to this one thing. It is whatever I need and want it to be as I desire.

Some days are darker then others.

Those that know will know.

The Heart is in Knots

This is a piece that I did in my art journal.  I then took a picture and used different programs to add some affects and change some colors.  I hope you like it.

August Bootcamp

Adventure
Find new ways to relieve stress

Action
1. Try new things with my art.
2. Go to the park and walk at least twice a week. (it is just so hot.)
3. Go for two bike rides on the greenway this month.

Adventure
Plan a hike in the mountains with my husband and go!

Adventure
Plan an unusual dining experience with friends and implement.

See more progress on: August Bootcamp 2012: Action and Adventure

7-28-12

I am grateful for

Chico getting better. He was really sick for several days.
Naps in the afternoon.
feeling calm for most of the day.
Trees with the light shining through them.
Today.

See more progress on: Daily: Reflect on 5 things for which I'm grateful.

7-25-12

I am grateful

to get through the day without getting angry.
for a small supper of chicken and veggies. Just enough.
rain
A little chipmunk on our carport hiding behind our stuff.
Watching the birds through the kitchen window they are fun to watch fighting over the bird feeder.

See more progress on: Daily: Reflect on 5 things for which I'm grateful.

Poetry

“Sea-Fever”

I must down to the seas again, to the lonely sea and the sky,
And all I ask is a tall ship and a star to steer her by,
And the wheel’s kick and the wind’s song and the white sail’s shaking,
And a grey mist on the sea’s face, and a grey dawn breaking.

I must down to the seas again, for the call of the running tide
Is a wild call and a clear call that may not be denied;
And all I ask is a windy day with the white clouds flying,
And the flung spray and the blown spume, and the sea-gulls crying.

I must down to the seas again, to the vagrant gypsy life,
To the gull’s way and the whale’s way where the wind’s like a whetted knife;
And all I ask is a merry yarn from a laughing fellow-rover
And quiet sleep and a sweet dream when the long trick’s over.

By John Masefield (1878-1967).
(English Poet Laureate, 1930-1967.)

See more progress on: Remember my passions!

7-24-12

Grateful for

Rain
Time for some art work
New art supplies
A nice Lunch with my hubby
Walk in the morning with my dog

See more progress on: Daily: Reflect on 5 things for which I'm grateful.

7-23-12

I am grateful for

Art
Rain
Katy Dids (not sure how this is spelled.) Though sometimes the noise they make is really annoying.
My Chihuahua
My Cat

See more progress on: Daily: Reflect on 5 things for which I'm grateful.

7-22-12

I am grateful for

the day is almost over.
take out pizza and Greek salad.
hubby getting some contract work albeit only for a day.
rain.
birds

See more progress on: Daily: Reflect on 5 things for which I'm grateful.

Bird

I worked on this last week some. This photograph really is bad. My lighting was just not what I needed.

See more progress on: work on my art everyday!

Spirit Tree

I used oil pastels on this tree.  I was experimenting with how the colors interacted with each other.  Let me know what you think.  I love it.  The photograph to me just isn't quiet right.  

I will my admit my darling Husband was not that enthusiastic about it.  

I did not do it for him.  I made it for me.  :)

6-1-2012

Grateful

For a quiet peaceful day so far.

For a cooler day.

For being calm in the face of possible adversity.

For an inner peace.

For Art.

See more progress on: Daily: Reflect on 5 things for which I'm grateful.

Accepted

I went to bed last night in a very down mood. Tears streaming down my face. Just knowing I has to get up and deal with hyper-active dad-in-law was almost to much. The dr upped hia dosage of seraquel to 50mg 2x a day. He also stated Jimmy is acting at about 6-8 months old in what he does. I guess it just all got to me and I was so sure the higher dosage of medicine would not work. I was just ready to quit. I basically did not know how I would face today. I told God this too.

Today Jimmy is better manageable. I am just relieved. I guess the next few days will tell for sure. I am so relieved. I really did not think I could get through another day of the extreme hyper active super daddy.

See more progress on: Be true to myself every day

5-30-12

I am tired. I am stressed out. I don’t want to get burned out.

Our respite care company is shutting the doors in a month. It freaked me out at first. Six hours a week of free time may not seem like much but when you are stuck with people that are so sick and frail all the time it is a major emotional drain.

I guess we will survive. At least I do have relief every Tuesday.
Still it was a blow to me and it upset me.

There are folks out there in worse shape then us. So very sad.

At least my in-laws have us. Some people have no one and respite care is being cut on many levels.

Sometimes I wonder how long this will go on. It is hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I don’t want to wish them in the grave. Yet I want my life back. I miss it. Does that make me a bad person?

See more progress on: Be true to myself every day

May 30, 2012

Gratitudes

Lawn service went down by 10$. More people in the neighborhood everyone benefits.

Dad-in-law a bit slower but still literally had to hold him down from about 6 pm onward. He can’t seem to shut off at all.
I am grateful he was slower during the day as I managed to get laundry done and cook supper.

God

Family

Pets

See more progress on: Daily: Reflect on 5 things for which I'm grateful.